


Banned

by MangoQueen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Scorpia and Perfuma are Frosta’s moms, The Princess Alliance is banned from everywhere, everyone is a disaster, i suck at tagging please just read, the whole group shares one brain cell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25458220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangoQueen/pseuds/MangoQueen
Summary: According to all known laws of sanity, the Princess Alliance should not be banned from anywhere. After all, they’re the heroes of all of Etheria, maybe even all of the galaxy. The Princess Alliance, of course, is either fully banned or partially banned from a lot of places anyway, because they are all dumbasses who don’t care how Etherians say they should behave in public. They also don’t know how not to stir up drama better than even Double Trouble themself could stir up because they all have that much raw dumbass energy, at least 666 times the dumbass energy per person as they have brain cells between them collectively, which is really a horrible combination that someone should have thought about before making it so. However, it is not my job to police dumbass-energy-to-collective-brain-call ratios, merely to report on it and get the information out about this group of chaotic disaster gays, their token straight guy friends who are also idiots, and their annoying talking horse with a heart that’s at least 69 times bigger than his brain and his capacity to SWIFTly (ayyy) shut the fuck up when he annoys everyone, including the girl who has a sacred bond with him. Anyways, we begin on a warm summer day in a nameless town...
Relationships: Bow/Glimmer, Catra/Adora, Entrapta/Hordak, Mermista/Seahwak, Netossa/Spinerella, Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Banned

“Uggh!!! I’m starving!” Mermista complained. “Can we stop and get food somewhere?” 

Adora, Catra, Glimmer, Bow, Scorpia, Perfuma, Frosta, Mermista, Seahawk, Entrapta, Hordak, Wrong Hordak, Swift Wind, Melog, Netossa, and Spinerella had been traveling all day and had just gotten out of a pretty nasty fight with some rogues. They were all pretty beat up and bruised and they were in a random town they didn’t even know the name of. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s a good idea,” Glimmer relented. “I think we could all use something to eat.” 

“It looks like there’s a restaurant over there,” Scorpia pointed out. Across the street, there was a large restaurant that seemed to be thriving. 

“Do they have tiny food?” Entrapta asked.

“I think that sign out front says they have cupcakes today,” Adora said. Everyone seemed happy with the fact that they had found a restaurant and went across the street. Frosta was the first one to get there, as she ran while everyone else walked. 

“Hello. How many people in your party?” The host asked her. The host booth was outside looking out at the street. 

“Ummm...” she looked across the street where everyone had been held up by heavy foot traffic and did a quick head count. “Fourteen. We also have a horse and a cat-thing.” 

“That’s fine. When everyone else gets here, I’ll show you to a table.” The host began to get menus ready. 

Everyone got to the restaurant as the host finished grabbing the menus. A waiter walked past with a tray of drinks in his hand. He glanced over at everyone, then did a double take. 

“Those two girls are banned from this place!” the waiter said, trying to gesture with one hand and keep the drinks level with the other. 

“Which two?” The host questioned. 

“Alright, which of you screwed up this time?” Glimmer asked, turning to face everyone. “I’m starving, and if somebody doesn’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to-“ 

“The cat and the one with the forehead bigger than Bright Moon itself,” the waiter said. “Hang on, let me go bring table 15 their drinks.” He walked away, muttering something about “princesses”, “fire”, and “I still have scars” 

Catra and Adora looked at each other, eyes wide, remembering now where they were and what had happened here. Both girls wore an expression that said, in the most plain language, “oh shit!” 

“Alright, what did you two do?” Frosta formed ice gauntlets around her hands and pounded her fists together. 

“Frosta,” Perfuma chided, “you can’t just beat people up, not matter how hungry you are.” 

“Fine,” Frosta groaned. She put her gauntlets away. 

“What did you do though?” Bow asked. 

“Uhhhh...” was the only response the starving princess alliance got. 

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥  
| ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Flashback *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ |  
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About a month or so before the whole princess alliance and co. had tried to get into that restaurant, Catra and Adora had come across it by themselves. Catra had promised to take Adora out somewhere for a picnic date (she had even surprised herself with that idea, but Adora seemed to like it, so she decided she would suffer through eating crappy sandwiches in the ground like an animal if it made her girlfriend happy). 

The picnic did not go as planned, though. First, when they were trying to make the sandwiches in the Bright Moon kitchen, Catra had “accidentally” dumped tuna on Adora’s head... then jumped on the counter and tried to eat it. After Adora had gotten her down, she pulled out a cucumber to cut up for her sandwiches. 

Catra went absolutely, inexplicably apeshit. She jumped on the counter again, attempted to pull herself up by the hanging rack of pots and pans only to ultimately have the whole thing come crashing down on top of her, scrambled to her feet, throwing pots and pans aside (and into Adora’s legs), and scrambled onto Adora’s back, nearly knocking her over in the process, pulling the blonde’s ponytail as she screamed “GETRIDOFITGETRIDOFITGETRIDOFIT!” at the top of her lungs. 

“It’s a cucumber?” Adora said. “Quit pulling my hair! Get off!” 

“BABE, GET RID OF IT! SAVE ME!” Catra screamed, flailing around. She fell backwards and pulled her girlfriend down with her. 

“Alright!” Adora put her hands up once she was back on her feet. “I won’t use cucumber! But when I asked you to kill one spider in our room last week...” 

“Kill and eat are two very different things!” Catra said, crossing her left index finger over her right, which was sideways, and holding them at the cucumber as though it were a demon that was about to possess her instead of an inanimate piece of produce. 

“Whatever,” Adora said, putting the cucumber away. 

Later, as they tried to pack a picnic basket, Catra clawed up the blanket. Adora looked at her. 

“Really?” She asked in a monotonous voice. Then she sighed. “I’ll go get a new blanket.” 

While she was gone, Catra knocked the bottle of lemonade off the table where it was sitting. The bottle broke. She was about to knock more stuff off when she saw the empty basket and had a sudden urge to sit in it, just to see if she could fit. 

She fit alright. Getting in the basket was the easy part. Getting out... wasn’t so easy. 

“Catra, are you serious right now?!” Adora exclaimed, walking back in with another lavender blanket with white sparkles on it (that was all they had in Bright Moon after Catra destroyed their last red and white checkered blanket). Adora went about cleaning up the lemonade that was all over the floor. She also had to help Catra our of the basket because her tail got caught somehow and it was basically glued to her butt. 

Catra got lost and only picnic spot anywhere near where they ended up was across a river. It was too wide to jump, even for She-Ra, but it barely came up to Adora’s knees in the middle. They should have been able to wade through the river no problem, right? 

Wrong. Did you seriously forget Catra? 

Adora went first and when she was across, she she turned around ask asked Catra what she was waiting for. 

Catra took a deep breath and waded into the stream. She was literally not even 4 inches in when she did three things. 

1\. She jumped a foot in the air and scrambled back to the shore.  
2\. She screamed and hissed at the top of her lungs.  
3\. She dropped the picnic basket in the water. 

Adora made a dive for the basket bout couldn’t get there in time and ended up back on Catra’s side of the river soaking wet and dealing with her girlfriend, who was clinging to her and hissing. 

“Now why do we do?” Adora asked. “We have no food and even if we did, you’re obviously not to getting the picnic spot without me carrying you.” 

“Look, Adora, I’m sorry,” Catra said. “Everything that’s gone wrong today is my fault. I saw a restaurant in that town we came through. Let me take you there to make up for this fiasco.” 

“Why not?” Adora said. So they walked back into the town they came in from and got a table at the restaurant Catra saw (the very same restaurant the Princess alliance would try to get a table at a month later). There was a candle and a flower on the table. 

“Can I start you ladies off with some drinks?” The waiter (yes, the one with the tray of drinks from earlier) asked a few minutes after they had sat down. 

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” Adora said, forcing a n awkward smile. 

“No, get the strawberry lemonade!” Catra told her. 

“I don’t want the strawberry lemonade,” Adora shot back. 

“You were mad that I ruined the lemonade earlier, get the lemonade.” 

“It’s 5 dollars!” 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m paying! Get the freaking lemonade Adora!” 

“I don’t. Want. The. Lemonade.” 

“She’ll have strawberry lemonade,” Catra said. 

“No I won’t! Water is good!” Adora said quickly. 

“I can come back...” the waiter offered. 

“No. She’ll have the strawberry lemonade,” Catra said. 

“No. I won’t,” Adora said. “Please just bring me a water.” 

“Order the damn LEMONADE!” Catra yelled, leaping across the table and knocking Adora out of her chair. 

“FORTHEHONOROFGREYSKULL!” Adora screamed quickly. People were screaming all around them and running away as She-Ra and Catra fought it out once again. 

“SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET OF WATER!” The waiter yelled, rolling around on the ground around in a panic. Catra and Adora, of course, did not see this, or anything else but each other. 

Eventually, She-Ra got her tiny (in comparison) girlfriend pinned. 

“Fine, you win,” Catra said. “Screw the lemonade.” 

“No, you know what, I think you were right,” Adora said, offering Catra her hand. “Lemonade sounds goo- OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE FIRST ONES HAPPENED?!” 

Catra looked behind her at what Adora meant. 

“HOLY CRAP!” She screamed. 

The whole restaurant was one fire, and it was spreading rapidly. Everyone was either on fire or running away screaming. 

See, when Catra leaped over the table, she knocked over that candle that I bet you all forgot existed. The candle flew into the tablecloth of the next table over and caught the tablecloth on fire. You would think that either Catra or Adora would have noticed that before now, right? 

Wrong. They’re both dumbasses who are part of a group of dumbasses that barely have a singular brain cell between them (and that singular brain cell resides with Netossa most of the time no I do not take criticism). Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with here people?! 

Anyway, long story short, Adora and Catra got banned for 17 lifetimes. 

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥  
| ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Present Day *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ |  
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“REALLY GUYS?!” Glimmer screamed. A chorus of “come on!”s and “but I’m starving!”s could be heard from the other members of the Princess alliance. 

“Why don’t I just go in and order us all food?” Micah asked, hoping to ease the tension. He knew how vicious the girls among him could get when they were hungry. Even Perfuma wasn’t exempt from this behavior. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Glimmer groaned. “I still can’t believe those two though!” 

“I guess you could say they’re a MATCH made in hell?” Bow asked. 

“Nice,” Seahawk said. “They could probably go in the chaotic gays hall of FLAME.” 

“Ayyyy!” Bow said, pointing finger guns at the pirate, who responded by making his own finger guns and repeating Bow. 

“Guys... Mermista looks annoyed!” Glimmer said hastily. “Let’s stop with the fire puns.” 

“Come on Glimmer, don’t FLAME me for your being such a BURN-dle of fun today,” Mermista said. Seahawk looked at his girlfriend and muttered something about how she’s literally perfect. Glimmer took a deep breath and screamed. 

“NO PUNS!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!!  
> ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💖


End file.
